Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
