Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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