I'm going to jail i love you
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm at about main and main street
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
