Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
