at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
