it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
