You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
