It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
