You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
