i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
