He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
