Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I love you. Go after that dick
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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