OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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