They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
