Betty ford says i'm here all night
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
this hospital has no fireball
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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