these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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