I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
