i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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