But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
