and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
