I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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