I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
