im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the raccoons are back...
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