Do you still have your period?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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