Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
