its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
