the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
