Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
