Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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