i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
