Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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