i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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