we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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