I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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