so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
