I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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