Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
...so i touched it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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