its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
