Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
