just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
