i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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