I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
