feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
