Soap is not a condiment
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
