I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
