Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
