sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
