I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize