It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
