you would pick up someone in the library
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
