it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
